“Without God, I am sunk.” Penny Curley, Counties Evangelist shares how God can use our darkest moments for His purposes.

Counties Evangelist, Penny Curley, reflects on how she’s shared God’s love with others by being vulnerable about her own mental health struggles. 

 Penny Curley does an enormous amount of work: She is an Evangelists Representative on the Counties Trustee Board, she sits on the Schools’ Resources Steering Group, and is the Cluster Leader for the South-Central Evangelists group. She works alongside her husband Gordon, who is also a Counties Evangelist, and she is involved in a host of women’s groups, prayer groups and children’s activities.  

She’s warm-hearted, funny, self-deprecating, go-getting, and loves God with all her heart. But, as anyone who works closely with other people on a daily basis, will attest, it can be emotionally exhausting, and Penny bravely and honestly admits:

“I don’t always cope terribly well, to be honest. I suffer with bouts of poor mental health, which most people are very surprised about, but it does come with the territory if you are someone who invests heavily in other’s lives. It takes a toll. Three years ago, I collapsed suddenly with exhaustion.”

Far from feeling embarrassed about what some may see as a weakness, Penny sees her struggles and vulnerabilities as part of her ministry – particularly with other women.

“You can rub along on the surface with anybody, but you want to actively engage with a person, you need to get under that surface and very few people will let you there unless they have seen the vulnerable side of you first.”

Penny first encountered Counties through Gordon, whom she married in 1997. She was a primary school teacher in London, but she chose to stop teaching when they had children and became a full-time mum.  

Penny at Noah’s Ark

During those early years, Penny saw “the need everywhere of people needing time”. She set up a toddler group called Noah’s Ark, with a Christian friend. and invited along some of the other new mums she’d met.  

‘Noah’s Ark is still going strong, and after running for nearly 21 years, has enabled many, many great conversations and friendships. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Penny also set up a little Bible study group as she found that many of the younger Christian women she encountered didn’t pray aloud or have much spiritual confidence.  

“I provided them with a ‘safe place’ to practice praying out loud and somewhere to talk through issues that made a difference to them”.

This was the first of many groups that have come and gone over the years.

“The more you spend time with people, the more you see gaps where a prayer group, a Bible study, or a social setting will give people a place to talk about their faith.”

Whilst doing all this Penny was working alongside Gordon who had added an Eldership role at Duncan Road Church, Fareham to his long list of commitments. She ran (and still does) the children’s teaching on a Sunday and a kids and youth group with Gordon during the week.

Penny and husband Gordon

Penny was also speaking at Ladies’ meetings, running crafting events as bridge-builders for adults and teens, taking their two children with her to help Gordon to holiday clubs, house parties, camps, and conferences, and generally operating as his editor and ‘social side-kick’

Although Penny’s life was, and still is, extremely busy, it’s that busyness that’s brought her to where she is today and to the very heart of her ministry.

“A lot of what I did then and now is organised stuff, but I still find that having time and space for people is one of the most valuable things I can offer. That’s what nobody had then or has now – the time. I try to be as generous with my time as I can.”

Penny finds that particularly with young mums, she can come alongside them, even for a season, to support them and listen to them when they are going through a hard time.

“One girl told me by accident that she was having problems by sending me a text that was meant for somebody else. She was mortified and I think she thought I was going to cut off our friendship completely but instead I was able to say, ‘Come round and let’s talk about it and let’s see if we can find a way through it together.’

“We talked a lot and I prayed with her, and she went on later to do the Christianity Explored course and although she hasn’t developed that, we are still very much in contact, and she is always asking for my opinion and response to different things.

“Most of these relationships are very long-term. I try my best to hold on to friendships made and to keep them alive and active.”

It’s this commitment to long-term relationships that are rooted and grounded in true friendship and vulnerability that has enabled Penny to continue her ministry and touch the lives of so many.

“People are very cautious about who they really are – their real worries and concerns. They want to know that you are prepared to put a bit on the line first and it can be a very slow process.”

Penny believes that talking about her struggles can help others to open up, but she admits that at times she still feels like hiding.

“When I have a bad week, I don’t really want to talk to anybody, and I don’t really want to do anything. But it keeps me humble because it reminds me that if I am trying to do this by myself; without God, I am sunk. I am so crushed and feeble at times. 

“Often during these times, I feel that it takes everything in me just to get up. All I can do is stand and that’s only because of what Christ has done for me, and that’s all He wants me to do for that moment.

“But the fact you can say to someone: ‘I am standing, feeling like this,’ sometimes allows the other person to say: ‘Really? Do you feel like that? I feel like that too.’ It gives me one of those vital connections.” 

“I don’t think God wastes anything. I don’t think He imposes things on us which are cruel but the things that do happen to us, He doesn’t waste.

“To be able to bring those things out, when the time is right and enable someone else to talk because they feel a connection is one of the most valuable things I can do.”